YOU COULD BE MY LUCK EVEN IF THE SKY IS FALLING DOWN

    It's a strange summer this year. First of all the weather is really cold right now and it doesn't remind of summer at all when you wake up to the sound of the rain. I don't feel that amazing smell that summer used to have, right now all I feel is autumn coming and I really don't like even the idea of that. Also, the things I have to experience this summer are not really pleasant or summery and I wish I could get over them the sooner the better. I think a lot about how different my life is from what it was one year ago. How much I have changed, how different is my life and how much the lives of my loved ones have changed. How many hopes have been crushed, how many people left and never came back and how much things have changed just in one year. I still didn't decide how much of my life I want to share here on my blog - there are days I want to write it all out but then I get scared that I will regret sharing too much here on Internet where everyone can read it. I guess some things are just too personal to share here but then I get sad because my blog is just a snippet of what my life really is. Sometimes i like that, because picture can say a thousand words but some days I'm sad because this blog is not that much of a diary as I would like it to be. 

 I have absolutely no idea how my life looks while reading this blog. Sometimes when I read other blogs it seems almost impossible to believe that people can live lives that are that perfect. But behind these pictures in this blog a lot of times there is a girl that takes pictures of beautiful things in her life so that she could be able to count blessings that she has when days become really dark. Sometimes that's the only way to get through a horrible day. But somehow it's really difficult to open up here, even if I don't actually know almost anyone who reads this blog. But maybe that's the problem. I don't really open up to strangers, only my closest people know everything. 

       I've been having a lot of struggles this year. Sadly my summer is not summery at all this year and there is a lot of paper work, doctors, decisions, doubts involved and there are also nights when I cry myself to sleep. Last summer was supposed to be all about big life decisions but it turns out that one summer in my life was not enough. Of course, many amazing things have already happened and I'm very happy about that. But I wish someday I could look back at this time  and think about how I got through everything. I wish I could look back someday and be grateful for everything that was thrown at me and say that I became much stronger than ever. Because you know, what doesn't kill you, makes you even stronger, so in the end the pain you have to experience is just for the best, at least now you know more about life and learning a lesson is always a good thing, isn't it?