It was a tough decision to take especially for me who isn't the most courageous person you could meet. I should say now I think I've become a bit more courageous than before but last year this really wasn't the case yet. I decided to leave the place which was making me the most miserable I've ever been in March I think, so I've had quite a bit of time to get used to the idea of my life changing completely once again. When in high school, I was that person who didn't want to graduate at all. I was pretty much the only one who felt this way because everyone was excited when I was just scared of my life changing so much when I was so used to the routine so much. I was scared of change too much I think and now I know why.
That year ended up being the worst year in my life for many reasons and not to complain here too much, but it really was awful from the moment the year started until the moment it ended. So changing my life all over completely wasn't that scary the second time, maybe I just wanted too much to get out of that place, I wasn't scared of anything else. Of course I've had many thoughts about everything, it was a little daunting to start everything from scratch again but oh my, it was so worth it. I haven't regretted my decision once in this whole year and I'm so thankful for this. I know I'm not the only one taking a decision like this in their lives, yet to me it was not easy at all.
People who know me in real life said to me that I seem much better nowadays than I did the year before. And I indeed feel loads better than I did before. To be honest, I hardly remember that I actually was in a very different place in my life exactly one year ago, my mind just blocked all of these memories so much, sometimes I forget that that year really happened.
Now I'm studying in the oldest building of our University which was built in XVI century and which is amazingly beautiful. This year I've had the luck to meet some amazing people, some great lecturers who really inspired me during the lectures and I just was sitting in awe, I've had the chance to study things like aesthetics or meet lecturers who arrived from France. Most importantly, there wasn't a day that I was genuinely afraid to attend my classes like it was last year and most of the time I have been really enjoying the experience. There were days when I just wasn't feeling it, when it all got rough or I got too tired to do anything, but that's life, isn't it? At least there wasn't a moment of sheer panic through the whole year and to me it's incredibly big achievement.
This year I actually got to experience the feeling of sadness while being in some classes and knowing that they are the last ones. I almost teared up saying goodbye to some of my professors and this kind of feeling was absolutely impossible to imagine last year.
Before starting this school year, I couldn't ever imagine that it would actually feel bittersweet to finish the year and in a way, I'm really glad that I feel this way now. Now I can only hope the next year to be as good as this one, there is nothing more to ask.
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