GOODBYE, 2014. HELLO, 2015

Oh my, what a year it's been. I remember last year I only had one big wish - to make the upcoming year just a tiny bit better than 2013 was and man, that wish has definitely come true. I wasn't just a tiny bit better, I'd say this was a great year, in fact. I wouldn't say this was the best year ever just because I don't really like saying this because it adds some kind of pressure to a year and the upcoming years have a possibility of not living up to the ''best'' year of your life but also even though this was a good, great even, year, it had some ups and downs just like every year does. From welcoming the year with a part of firework exploding on my leg (yup, a real story), to really having the best summer so far, from cutting my hear so short first time in years, to working through my anxieties and finally doing something about it, it had everything in it. I'm very very thankful to say that this year I got to travel a lot, more than ever before to be exact and it's been great - London, Milan, Verona, Venice, Sirmione, Peschiera, Rome (a definite Italy theme going on)!
I had a goal to start working more on myself, to make my life more interesting, better and I've joined organization in Uni which has been a great thing, I've met loads of new people when I became a mentor for freshmen in my Uni as well, I was a volunteer in one project this Summer and had a blast, I've started taking a contemporary dance class which has been a dream of mine for years and years, I've started learning Spanish in Uni along with my French degree I'm studying for.
I've also really wanted to be more grateful. I believe that gratitude is an essential part of your life, I think it's impossible to be 100 percent happy if you are not grateful, you can have biggest castles and Chanel bags to put your newest iPhones into, you can have a chance to travel around the world but if you are not grateful for everything you have, no matter how big or small, you can't be happy. Which is what I tried to work on more this year and I'm glad to say there were days when this little act of gratitude really shifted my perspective on life. It does help and there are some things to be grateful for all the time, you just have to learn to notice them and magic can happen.

I've got so many things to be grateful for this year - I got to travel, to see some of my favorite bands ever play live, I spent amazing time with the people I love the most. But as it always is, I would be lying if I said that there weren't times when I felt incredibly alone and lonely and felt like I hadn't anyone to turn to, that there weren't times when I felt completely lost in life and felt like I have absolutely nothing figured out, that I haven't spent hours and hours comparing my life to others or to the plans I've created years ago in my head like my life should be when I will be 21. But I've learned pretty important lessons this year as well - to let go of people who need to go, to trust myself more, to do things even if they are making my stomach turn into millions of knots, sometimes they are really worth it, to be more active and to be more open towards other people.

The most memorable of times was definitely this past Summer. It was filled with so many exciting things that sometimes it felt a little unreal to be true. I loved living through this experience that was my life in the summer, I loved travelling around my country or through the seas. This was the summer of joy and other seasons can't really fully live up to my wonderful summer.
I don't find enough words to express just how grateful I am to be able to say that I had a good year because there was nothing more I had wished for as we were saying goodbye to 2013 and no matter if there are goals I haven't fully achieved, this one has definitely been the most important.

I hope you all had a great year and if this was not the year you will remember with a smile on your beautiful face, you have a brand new year coming up very very quickly. It's another chance to get it right, to make your life just as amazing as you want it to be, to become the person you've always wanted to be and become the happiest and the best yourself you can be. Let's raise our glasses to new beginnings tonight and for a year of real happiness! Happy New Year!

MY ENDLESS LIST OF GRATITUDE #5

 Found somewhere on the Web.

The holiday season is (sadly) over. I still can't fully comprehend the fact that Christmas is over and New Year has officially begun even though I don't listen to Christmas music and Christmas decorations don't seem to be really fitting into my room anymore.
 January is always a little blue without the festivity of December and I have the rest of my exams on January and this month is mostly just blah. Only the idea of fresh start once January comes seems really nice. I know the first day of a year is only a day but it feels nice to know that we have one more chance to create an awesome year and reach our goals. Even if it's only in our heads but it for sure feels comforting to think about a brand new beginning.

This time I don't really have this list of gratitude and I skipped one week but the biggest highlight of the last week was the New Year's party. It was the first time I've welcomed new year like this and several times I had to repeat "just my luck" when things didn't go so well with fireworks and when I lost my phone. But after all this was an awesome night with many new faces, loud music, many hours spent on the dance floor and many smiles!

A YEAR IN MY LIFE

There are years in life that You look back at and feel very grateful and happy. 2012 was exactly that kind of year and I was feeling a little bittersweet when that year ended. However now, I don't remember the last time when I was anticipating the New Year's Eve so much. Looking back at 2013 I couldn't say this was a very good or a very happy year. I feel so ready to move on to the New Year and I have many hopes for the upcoming 12 months. I'm pretty sure this year won't be remembered a lot because only several things happened which I'd like to remember with a smile. The rest of the year didn't come as easy as I'd hoped it would. This was definitely a challenging year to me. 

The first half of the year I was studying at the place which made me miserable and that took away lots of my energy, my health and my happiness. This year also brought challenging times in my family, I had to deal with a very tough breakup of my own and then at the end of the year we lost my dear and very much loved Grandmother. Because of all these and many more reasons I found out what it means to live with anxiety and how much effort it takes in everyday life.

It feels very sad that all the sad things took over my life and overshadowed the happy things. I would be very wrong to say that none of the good things happened. There were quite a lot of them : 

I went to 4 summer festivals where I made the best memories and loved all these days spent there and I've realized once again how much I love these place and how much I need these festivals in my life. I also went to London once again and spent a wonderful time there. I also went to see Depeche Mode and Lana del Rey live and these were the two best shows I have ever been to and I'm so grateful I had a chance to see both of these shows. 

Of course, the biggest highlight of this year is our Kitty. My family was thinking about getting a kitty for a long time but I think no one believed this would bring so many happiness into our home. She is still the cutest kitty and she is very very much loved here and I don't even imagine my life without her.

It's good that all these things happened and even though it was very difficult at times but I've learned many lessons. I wouldn't want them to happen ever again but lessons I've learned are really valuable and I cherish them a lot.

So for the New Years I hope for many things which include finally being able to fully get back on my feet and I also really want to get rid of my anxiety for good. I hope the next year this very day to be able to look back at the year and say how grateful I am for everything they brought to me. This would be the best gift I think. 
I wish everyone to step into the New Years with the head held high and to leave all the back things and misfortunes in this year and to open the doors of the year where all the magic happens!