THE END OF A CHAPTER

Last week me and my family were sorting my Grandma's old apartment out and while I was sitting in a very echoed room, I kept looking around and every corner of it reminded me of my childhood. There is that bed where I used to play with all of her jewelry, there is that armchair with which I feel down when I was 5, there is that kitchen where she used to make me the best kind of soup that no one else knows how to and I won't ever get to taste it, there is the driveway where she used to wave as we were driving away to our home, there is that balcony where I used to sit at when it was very hot outside.
We were going through all of her things, we threw away so many of them which have been probably very important for her and which she was keeping just like we all do because we all cling onto stuff and it's so strange that you keep so many things in your life and you leave it all behind. I am a  very sentimental person anyway, but it's so strange and so difficult to go through someone's so close to you things when you know she is not around anymore. She is actually not with us for almost a year already but at that time when I was looking around this empty apartment, I realized that she is indeed gone forever. Strangely even at the funeral I haven't felt that she was gone, I just felt relief that after so much suffering she went to a better place and even though in this year there were many moments when I missed her a lot, that day when we said goodbye to her apartment proved that she is not going to hug my anymore at all.
After we give the keys away, all we have left from her are the memories we will keep with us forever. I understand very well that this is just an apartment with many things in it and it isn't even that nice but I spent so much time there as I was growing up and it was a place to come to which was very comforting and safe and her presence there made it much more special. Now it's just an old and empty apartment with empty walls and wardrobes. But it's also a part of my childhood which is never going to come back just like my Grandma.
All I wanted to do at that time was to hug her which I can't do and won't be able to do ever. I really miss her a lot and it has probably hit me only that day just how much I really miss her in my life. This is, of course, course a part of life we can't escape but it's very very sad.  I got chills even writing about her and I know she is watching us from above and I really hope she is happy there and she knows just how much we all miss her in our lives.

OH DARLING, LET'S BE ADVENTURERS

 Welcome back, Autumn! Or should I say - welcome back, Miglė?
 I feels so strange to write the first post in Autumn here when September it's pretty much over and I can clearly see how much time has passed since I've been here and man, I've missed my blog a lot. When I saw the date of my last post, I couldn't really understand why I was so distant from this place which used to make me very happy, maybe part of this is that lately I've been crazy busy, maybe part of it is that I simply didn't want to. What's even stranger is that August and September have been truly great months for me but for some reason I chose not to document it and keep it to myself. Maybe sometimes you just want to keep the memories only for yourself and that's okay but whenever this happens, I get really sad when I realize that memories start to fade away one after another when they are not documented in some kind of form. Time flies when you're having fun and I think as the Autumn came back, I feel ready to come back here after this unexpected break.
 So I am welcoming Autumn back with a very summery post and even though it has only started to feel like autumn only couple of days ago, I already miss that hot weather and sea. The thing is that whenever Autumn comes back, it immediately feels like it, the whole atmosphere is different, that sense of freedom goes away with the last day of Summer and I feel very different once Autumn comes. It's not different in a bad way, it's just very different. As I'm looking at these pictures right now while it's very cloudy and foggy outside, it seems as if these pictures were taken ages ago. Every season to me has its smell and feeling which are very different from each other and I'm really grateful that where I live we have all of the four seasons not only in the calendars but in real life.

The one thing I definitely miss the most once the Summer is over is the sea. You see, the place where I feel the most at peace with the world and myself is definitely by the sea. I love being at the beach and just listening to the sound of the waves crushing down, it instantly calms me down no matter what I'm feeling. And the sunsets.. they are definitely the best kind of sunsets by the sea and seeing the sun set down in the sea is a very very comforting feeling to me. I am a huge sea lover and I would love to live by the sea sometime in my life and since the nearest sea to me is 300 km away from where I live, I don't get to be there as often as I'd love to. But that is why I get to have one more experience in the summertime every year because I just can't imagine a summer without going to the seaside and that's also why the sea is so special to me.  When I'm there I'm happy, calm and enjoying life to the fullest. Really, the sea has a very special place in my heart.
This week in the pictures was one of the best of this past Summer. I had just quit my job and had all the time for myself. That's what I call the holidays - sleeping till noon, having late and slow breakfast, going to the sea several times a day, biking by the sea in the perfect sunset, laughing lots, painting your nails in the middle of the night, singing loudly, staying up late while watching movies (or falling asleep in the middle of it. quite usual for me), having endless photo shoots at the beach and getting to the Summer music festival at the end of the week. I love sharing experiences like this with my closest friend, then they become at least a hundred times more special. Now leaves started to change colors, whether has cooled off quite a bit and I think I'm fully ready for this cozy Autumn!

A LOVE LETTER TO SUMMER

Dear Summer,
you always arrive so unexpectedly and I always catch myself enjoying your company only when it's already the midsummer. I know that you know how much I love Spring and  how I'm always claiming it to be my favorite season but I hope, summer, that you know that I love you just as dearly as I love spring.
Dear Summer, I love your sunsets which are never as pretty as they are when you're around, I love sleepless nights, I love that you let us show our legs to the world and walk barefoot and you make it warm enough for us to walk around. I love, Summer, that you and wind are such great friends and when you're around, wind always blows so nicely and is pretty much always warm. I love, Summer, that you bring us the storms with lightnings and thunder and quick but very strong rains. Dear Summer, I love that when you're around, the road always seems big and promising and there is always something to look forward to. I love your mornings when the entire city is light up by the precious sunlight and there are these moments when it's still fresh to be outside.
Thank you for those blue, red and pink berries you offer us and that you let us enjoy sea, rivers and lakes. I love the sounds of chirping birds and wind blowing in the grass, Summer. I love that we can create memories even on the work days and that there are many experiences coming our ways, especially the kind of unexpected ones which turn out to be the best ones of all. I love having the chance to walk barefoot and show my toenails painted freshly with the nicest blue nail polish. I love the smell of freshly cut grass and love the feeling of putting my feet in the sand or the sea. There also isn't feeling like being in the field and listening to your favorite band with sounds echoing through the forests around.
 Oh and Summer, you know, sitting on a dock with my feet hanging over it and drinking fresh coffee is an absolutely wonderful feeling. Smiles are bigger when you're around, music sounds better and food is tastier.
And there it is that wonderful smell after the quick Summer rain when you just walk down the streets wearing sandals and drowning in the water a bit and without the umbrella because you, of course, left home unprepared for the rain because it was too hot to be outside before you left home. There are also these incredibly hot nights when it's impossible to sleep and you just toss and turn the whole night but I don't mind it, Summer, when those nights are around, I get the chance to spend some time thinking about things more.
You remind me of freedom, of possibilities and of happiness, Summer. I only wish, dear summer, that you could stay around for a bit longer because when I get to enjoy you to the fullest, it's already autumn coming up to take your place.

THESE ARE THE DAYS THAT BIND US TOGETHER, FOREVER

I think it would be quite difficult to find a person who is not missing Summer at the moment. I hear everyday people around me complaining of the winter, I do it myself and I feel like the winter must go away the sooner the better. I miss Summer so dearly.

 I miss the Sun shining in the sky the entire day, the warm nights when you can spend the whole night outside and go to sleep when the Sun is rising again, the brightest August starry skies, roadtrips with people you love in the cars with the loudest music, the sea, warm wind, cold cocktails in the middle of the very hot day, fresh berries, rainy yet warm summer days, ice cream, fresh mint right from our garden, short dresses, these huge storms when skies are so dark and it rains so hard with the lightnings brightening the sky, shorts, feeling of adventure, live shows in the fields under the sky, sunsets that are only that beautiful in the summertime.

I realize how stupid it is to complain about the weather but I find it very difficult to cheer up when every day I wake up I see this very very gray view outside my room. I just need a little bit of Sunshine, I think it's not that much to ask for. This picture was taken by a very nice girl and it reminds me of one amazing day of the last Summer.

DIY MEMORY JAR

Happy New Year Everyone! I heard about this awesome idea right before New Year and decided to try it myself. I'm obsessed with writing things down, I have probably 3 boxes full of little notes, quotes, lists, letters and I'm very sentimental and I always keep tickets from cool places or write down quotes I like. So that's a perfect idea to me - keeping this little jar full of memories written down which you keep for the whole year and are supposed to open it before the next year comes. 
It's so nice because sometimes in a year we forget awesome things which have happened and it's nice to be reminded at the end of the year how lucky you've been through entire year. That would also help to focus more on good things instead of bad ones and I'll definitely keep this jar through the entire year! :)

A YEAR AGO

 Exatcly one year ago on this very day I had one of the best experiences in my life so far. I remember that day very clearly - that was very foggy day, I was at my friend's home, It was very calm and rain was supposed to come. My dad called me and told that today is the day when I will fly hot air balloon. I was pretty scared but very excited of course. I remember seeing all these balloons being blown and this feeling in my stomach before I climbed into it. And then sun showed up. I also remember the feeling when we took off and flew away. It was magical. Firstly because it was surreal to be up in the air and see my beautiful city from above and secondly because one of my biggest dreams finally came true. It's impossible to describe what I felt that day but I think it's enough to say that It was amazing. I still remember that day like one of the best and I'm very happy that I had the chance to experience it. 
You can see my flight here & here.

AND DREAMED OF PARA - PARA - PARADISE

When I feel sad or cold or lonely or just dreamy I start digging into my photo archives. And sometimes I look at the pictures I took some time ago and I can't believe that I really have been there. Right now I'm looking at these photos and I'm amazed of the beauty in them. And it was a long time ago, I was about 14, so that seems like a beautiful dream to me that never really happened. I would really love to come back there someday... 

I think it's obvious how much I miss warm weather - these photos show everything I miss :) 

The happiest place to be

BARCELONA Summer 2011 ♥

 I miss that city insanely!