4

4 months of absence over here. 4 years of blogging here. I love how things line up so beautifully and I just can't help but smile that I can come back with a little post on a day like this. Let's forget that I haven't been blogging for a while now (it turns out I'm a pretty good liar. Breaking radio silence, yeah right) but this blog has been alive for 4 whole years. It's so strange to think that I've created it when I was 18 years old in this very same room I'm sitting now at but that me from 4 years ago and me of today are different in so many ways. I look different, I act different and I feel different.This is one of the things I love having a blog the most - being able to see myself growing in life and being able to see where I was at a certain time a year or two ago.

So where was I for these four months? Well, it's difficult to say, really. I was here, always here and I've tried so many times to open up a new window and try to write something, but it just never worked out the way I wanted and all these texts I've hoped to publish are still left somewhere in the archives. I've had so many things to write about and in one way it's a little sad that the Summer which has been so wonderful hasn't been documented here at all, but on the other hand I can keep it in my head forever. Here's hoping that my memory won't fail me. We say it all the time, I'm busy, I'm busy, oh I'm so busy and it's seems that being busy nowadays is a thing that we all are, it's so difficult to escape and since pretty much all of us live this crazy lifestyle of busyness, we even have to plan meeting our friends in advance. It's crazy, isn't it? So that's what happened, I fell into the busyness and it's not as easy to escape as I could have hoped. Or maybe I just use it as an excuse, maybe I just didn't feel the need to write here at all because since I've had so much going on, I have notebooks full of thoughts but nothing made here to the blog. 

It feels like Summer was never really here now that it's raining outside like it does in a real November manner, but this Summer was pretty awesome. It wasn't really at all about some crazy events, music festivals or the trips, it was all about the people I've met. From the outside it could look like a pretty boring Summer - work, University and a couple of little trips thrown in but as a person that was the one to experience it all, I can say that it was one hell of a Summer even though I've left my city only for couple of days and I've spent much more time in University than a "normal" student should in the summertime on the summer break. As I was responsible for coordinating my beautiful team of freshmen mentors, I've had things to do in the University and around it but most of the days I've spent there were just because I was actually having fun there, as crazy as that could sound. But I guess we all choose our kind of fun and for me this summer was exactly the kind of one I've needed. Somehow in the middle of the Summer I've met some beautiful and wonderful people that I've been studying with for years now but never thought of having them as my friends and I've got to remember just how beautiful and fulfilling new friendships are. Then there were nights with guitars, fires and songs that make the forests echo, there were little road trips, the sea and the laughter. I was also forced to leave my comfort zone more times than I could count and I've done it and I'm proud of myself for how much I've grown. And never for a minute I've felt lonely this Summer with all these beautiful people around me. 

And then the Autumn came back and I came back to the University that I haven't even left for the Summer. The autumn came back quickly as it always does, streets became full with people, with students, my university become once again full of sounds, of people, of new unfamiliar faces and I began my third year there as the leaves were changing color. In the middle of my beautiful birthday month I went to see Prague, to explore one new city from my bucket list and it was wonderful.

Now I'm 22 years old, I'm still spending all of my days in uni and making the best of it, seeing it in the change of the seasons and loving it more and more. I'm still busy, because escaping the busyness is quite challenging as I've said; I read a lot, write a lot and sleep not really enough, have classes in french, english and spanish and sometimes I speak in all 3 of them at the same time. Every day I create new and new plans, one of them is always to come back writing here because it used to be a part of my days, a happy one but I guess I got tired of it and lost the joy it should have brought me. I create plans, change them and overthink everything I say, do or don't do just like a normal twenty something person does. 

BREAKING RADIO SILENCE

Hello, bonjour, labas, hola!  I‘m hopefully back after something that has definitely been the longest break I‘ve ever had from this blog and I hope it won‘t ever happen again, the long break I mean. I can't really answer myself why this break happened even though I've tried to find an answer many times. The truth is that I‘ve had two busiest and craziest months and blogging sadly didn‘t really fit into my schedule and after I finished my uni year and had a tiny little bit more time, I completely failed to remember how does blogging work. Over these couple of months I came to see how my blog is doing and I've had so many plans but then one week passed by, two, four and before I knew it, it's already midsummer and it's a little bit hard to believe this. I guess I was living my life more than I had time to document it which is quite sad because I wish I could remember everything that has happened in great detail because the memories have started to mix up a little bit already. But I've been doing really well, I love my life as a little busy bee.

A couple of weeks ago I twisted my ankle and was literally forced to spend a couple of days in my bed because, well, I couldn‘t really walk and among watching the TV series and reading, I was also thinking about life (as I always do) and I had some time to reflect and look back on these past couple of months and man what a journey it‘s been. Come this March, the journey on my self growth began when I decided to step out of my comfort zone more and more and this has been the best thing. So these two months when I‘ve been absent from this space been a real mix of everything thrown together – studies, work, exams, students‘ representation and loads of new people. In those two months I‘ve been working, spent hours upon hours with my books of studying in the library for my exams, passed all  7 of them, finished my second year in Uni, found my team of freshmen mentors, congratulated my friends graduating the University, saw one friend getting married and cried just how beautiful the wedding was, unexpectedly found new great friends, learned to play the foosball and spent many hours playing it, began planning the freshmen summer camp, bought my new glasses, had one mini road trip, lived alone for a while, finally had time to catch up with my friends, spent couple of nights in the summer house, ate strawberries, had breakfasts on my balconies, drank a little bit too much of coffee, stressed out a bit, read books, binge watched and finally finished some TV series like Sex and the city and Glee, found my new favorite guilty pleasure – The Office. I've also found myself in some pretty crazy situations like the ones where I had to share my experiences with the new groups of freshmen mentors. It was crazy to catch myself speaking in front of the group of people, trying to teach them things I didn't know I knew this well and let me remind you that months ago I was the person who would rather hide in a cave than speak in front of the public. I can't say it wasn't scary because it was but it felt amazing afterwards. 

 Now that I‘m writing this, I understand how much I can‘t remember anymore and all of my days just blurred into one big something and sometimes I can‘t understand where the day begins and where it ends. But I love it so much. I was always hoping to be a person who has things to do, who is busy and yes, I understand how unhealthy it is not to know how to relax but I‘m working on it. But when my days begin in the university with one group of people, then I meet a different friend and then eventually I‘m on my way to a different city with a different friend just to see the sunset, these are the moments that are just so so wonderful. I can't fully explain to myself what happened with me or my life but from an introverted person I turned into someone who is always surrounded by people and enjoys it a lot. I enjoy spending my time alone but now I feel the happiest when I come back home and I try to look through a day in my head and I see how many people I‘ve talked to or laughed with and then I can calmly fall asleep, because this is how I want to spend my Summers, how I want to spend my life. 

THREE YEARS AFTER HIGH SCHOOL

Last Friday I was walking to work and I saw these cars with balloons on them and beautiful people inside who were celebrating their traditional last bell of the high school day. And then I got chills all over my body when I realized that I was one of these kids three years ago. Not that cars with balloons were involved, but I realized that I was a high school student three whole years ago. Although I still remember that day really clearly, to me it meant even more than the actual prom day when I got my high school diploma, on that day at the end of May I realized that I was actually leaving everything familiar, all my 12 years of school, behind me. I didn‘t want to graduate high school like others did, I was a bit too scared to face the world. But I remember that day I felt so grown up, it felt like the world is my oyster and I have so many opportunities coming my way. Now I understand that I wasn‘t at all grown up and these three years after high school have taught me much more than high school ever did.

Now that I think about it, I think that my high school self wouldn‘t probably be able to talk to myself that I‘m nowadays. My 18-year-old self wouldn‘t believe and understand that I somehow became someone who reminds of someone I was always hoping to become. She wouldn‘t believe that I found so many ways to surprise myself, to challenge and overcome myself. And that I wasn‘t as grown up as I thought I was.

People say that life doesn‘t stop after high school and it‘s so so true. I remember when I was senior in high school, I had this quote hanging up on my wall saying that high school is only one chapter of your life and I tried to convince myself with it every day. And it actually is so true. Once you leave high school you actually have the world in your hands, the only difference is that now you have to do everything yourself. No teachers saving your ass, no parents telling you what to do every step of the way, there‘s only you and the world. You are responsible for the choices you make, for the mistakes you make and for the people you choose to surround yourself with.

The most important thing is that life after high school is so much different. I feels so scary to leave that little bubble you called home for 12 years of your life and dive into the big world, but once you close these doors, you find out that there is a whole new world waiting for you. For those who move out to a different country or city, it feels like an even bigger change but I also believe the way we change inside matters the most. Once you enter a new world, you can meet so many people you‘ve always dreamt of knowing and calling your friends, you can be the person you‘ve always wanted to be and there is no one who remembers you when you were 7 years old and wore this ugly yellow wig to a school party, no one who remembers what kind of teenager were you, where you failed and succeeded. And it is amazing.

But as I was reminded of all of this last Friday, I got chills all over my body just like I got them now writing this. How can it be that the people I graduated with are going to be graduating University next year? How can it be that I‘m about to finish the second (third to be exact) year of Uni? Some of these people I graduated with have children, some have more than one, some are engaged or married and I can still remember how they looked the first day of school. I know for sure that I wouldn't want to come back to high school but I would love to make the time slow down a little bit more because right now this is really not the chapter of my life I wish to leave ever, I just love it a little bit too much.

 

IT'S TIME TO CATCH UP

Hello!
Since the name of this post is called it's time to catch up and I've finally managed to open up a new blog post with this whole empty space to fill with words, I guess I should tell about my crazy life a little bit.
April has been such a crazy long month, at the end of it I couldn't even remember the beginning of it. It's amazing that one month can have so many things in it and be so incredibly long. On the very first days, it was still the Vilnius Film Festival that I was raving about and I thought it was going to be very difficult to get back to my calmer life after it ended. It wasn't really or maybe my life just wasn't calm after it ended. Yes, maybe the second one. I still had some time to see my Godfather and his family before they left back to the USA and the goodbyes were awful as they always are when you don't know the next time when you get to see someone, but it is what it is, sometimes world is just a little bit too big.

Buuuut one really exciting thing has happened that I'm very happy about. I've become a new coordinator of the mentor program in my faculty and this is such a big step for me. Last year I was one of the mentors for the freshmen and this was already a big step out of my comfort zone and this year becoming the person who coordinates these people is well, incredible. And scary and exciting at the same time. As as if this wasn't enough, I've also got a job.
Sometimes I still have to remind myself that I'm at the end of my second year of Uni and I have a craazy amout of stuff to do and I don't really have that much time, but I'm still hoping to fit everything into my agenda. I hope I will do it. But you know, being a full-time student, having a part time job, being constantly involved in a Students' Representation and spending so much of time time in the University AND having a blog and a little bit of life is a little bit hectic. I've always wanted to do more with my life, so here I am. This is why for the past few weeks I was opening my blog couple of times a day and just staring at the screen thinking of all the things I could do with it and just turning it off again. Yup, so this is it, this is my crazy life which is really quite crazy right now. But I honestly like it. And trees have already bloomed, it's all green and beautiful and whenever the Spring comes around, all of my doubts about it being my favorite season of all time completely disappears. I only wish it would stay around for longer.
How are you doing? What's been the best thing that happened for you lately?

LESSONS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT FRIENDSHIPS

Friends is my favorite TV show in the existence of the TV shows and one of the reasons is because, well, it's about friends. Romantic relationships are amazing to have in life, but friendships are something so special that it's a little hard to explain. I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about and I hope that everyone reading this has at least one truly special and important friend in their lives because these people around us make life much more bearable at times and definitely much better. I don't have a ton of close friends, but I have some pretty amazing girls in my life and I'm really glad I know them. However, I've learned some pretty important lessons in life about friendships that not all are that pretty.

. When it's right, you will feel it .

You know those times when you meet so many people, have little random conversations with them and never talk to them again because there is no need anymore? But there are also these times when you meet someone and you click with them instantly. There is that magic spark or call it whatever you want, but it lets you talk with someone you met two hours ago like with someone you've known for years. You can feel that you can be fully yourself around them even though you've known them for so little. If this happened, congrats, this doesn't happen too often but it's just bloody amazing!

. People grow apart . 

This is a very sad truth and you will learn it the hard way because well, there is no easy way realizing it. But everyone deals with it, so you probably won't be an exception. When we are in high school or University, we always promise to the friends we have that these friendships are for life, but the truth is that not all of them can last a lifetime. This is very sad and heartbreaking when you see that someone you've known for years and loved spending your time with has completely changed or you changed and you just have nothing in common anymore. But I feel like it's a little hard to still be friends with people you've been friends when you were 10 years old and liked watching cartoons a little too much when you are 20 something. 

This is just life and if people leave your life, it's probably because someone new and amazing is going to come into your life very soon. 

. Don't let people walk all over you .

I believe that this is one of the most important things you will learn in your life about the relationships with people around you. You are worthy of people who love you, when you put your feelings, heart and time out to someone, you deserve to get the attention back to you. People who are never there for you, who use you in all of the ways you can imagine, are not your friends and they don‘t need to be. I know how difficult it is to stay away from people once you realize that they are no good for you, but it‘s the best thing you can do for yourself. It can be for a while, it can also be forever, but what matters is that you don‘t deserve to have people in your life who do not appreciate you.

. You don't need to be liked by everyone .

It‘s one of these things that you learn when you're growing up and I probably wouldn't have said this years ago. I would be absolutely lying if I said that I am completely alright with someone obviously not liking me, whether that‘s in real life, whether online. It sucks, it can be really hurtful but you know, there are so many people in the world that it is absolutely impossible to be liked by everyone. Just think, you also do not like all the people you meet in your life, sometimes they haven‘t even done anything bad to you, but it is what it is. So just remember that it is alright, if you haven‘t done anything bad, you can be calm and don‘t worry too much about it. Even the nicest people on earth have haters, so why worry, really?

. Embrace the lonely times .

There are times when you feel so lonely that it seems like your heart is going to break into hundreds of little pieces. It seems like you have people you know if your life, that you have friends but sometimes your phone is just quiet and you end up sitting at home without any plans and no people to talk to. I can't count the times this has happened in my life, but I've learned to embrace it more and more everytime it happened.

Sometimes it just happens and there is no need to worry, people who are your friends probably still are there for you, but there are times when people grow apart a tiny bit and it is also alright. It‘s probably temporary and you can spend time enjoying your company and it is pretty amazing as well and people will come back eventually. 

THINGS I'D TELL MY TEENAGE SELF

I left my teenage years several years ago and even though sometimes I still can't believe that I am a twenty-something girl, I feel like in these couple of years I've learned quite a few important things about life. I wish I could somehow meet myself when I was a scared, shy and sometimes lonely teenager, hug myself and make sure that everything will turn out to be fine and if not exactly fine, as least there will be some pretty great lessons learned along the way.

1. Don't be scared so much

Go out and do things! Join the clubs in school, be active, go volunteer, go to events where you want to go even though you have no one else who wants to go with you. Go alone, you can meet loads of amazing people and it is not as scary as it seems. I really wish I could tell this myself and I would listen to what older me is saying because that would've made my high school years even better. I missed out on quite a few things because I was too scared and didn't have enough self-confidence. 

2. Having a boyfriend doesn't define your worth

I got my first boyfriend way after everyone else did and I can't lie and say that there weren't times when I was very sad and thought there was something seriously wrong with me because that wouldn't be true. But apparently things weren't so wrong with me because I eventually got myself a boyfriend, right? It's much better to be alone than in a bad company, so it's much better to wait to find the person that's right for you. There are a lot of important things happening in your life when you are a teenager, so not having teenage relationship problems is actually quite a good thing. You do not become better if you do have or not have a boyfriend.

3. Good for you for being yourself

There was a time in high school when all of the girls looked the same, you seriously couldn't say who is who if you saw them from the back. So dressing a little differently was a really good thing for me. I've always had hair who made me different and I've always had a style that was a little different as well. I never was a punk or goth or something like that, I just wore different clothes and didn't want to look like everyone else, so shopping in a thrift shop is a wonderful thing! And if you want wear big bows in your hair, have big necklaces or wear brightly colored tights, do it!

4. High school popularity isn't that important

There is no need to fit in desperately in the group of people you have nothing in common with. Popularity isn't such a big thing in Lithuania, there aren't any of these things you see in American films but there are still people who are "cooler" and the others who are not. But that is such a bullshit, really. I never tried to be one of the popular kids and I never was and most of the time it felt alright but there were definitely times when it sucked quite a lot. You know when they all hang out in a group, go to parties and have tons of pictures on Facebook from all of their parties? Yes, that part sucked but the older I got, the more I understood that having your group of people is a lot better than the group of friends who end up turning fake. After all, after high school this popularity thing doesn't mean anything at all.

5. Life does not stop after high school

I was so so afraid to graduate from high school, I was so used to my routine, to all the teachers, all of my friends and everything that was so familiar for 12 years. When everyone else wanted to spread their wings as soon as it's possible, I wanted to crawl under the table and say in high school forever. Now that I look back, I wouldn't go back there in a million years, that chapter is over and I'm very glad it is. As my future seemed very unsure after graduation, it seemed to me that it won't be a good one. I didn't have a good start of my uni experience but I've realized that life really does not stop after you leave high school, it's quite the opposite.

6. It is okay to start all over again

I don't deal well with disappointment, whether that's disappointing myself or others. But failing at something sometimes can be a very good lesson. You only have to find strength in yourself  to begin it all again, to start from scratch and build your life back up if it has fallen apart right in front of your eyes. We make mistakes, you can't always know if the decision you took is right for you or you will end up failing miserably once again, but it's worth trying to find it out. But you know what, it's important to have the courage to change the situation yourself because that can turn out to be the greatest thing you can do for yourself.

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

MY ENDLESS LIST OF GRATITUDE #31

Let's be completely and really honest here for a minute. I've realized one little and quite sad truth - I haven't been enjoying blogging so much lately as I've used to. It's sad to admit that to myself but it's probably for the best, now I can figure something out about it. I guess I just got lost in this whole blogging world and I've read too many advice posts how to blog better and the joy disappeared a tiny little bit. I'm pretty sure that the fact that I've been insanely busy lately has a lot to do with it as well. I didn't want to stop blogging for this crazy period and then I pressure myself into thinking that I'm not doing good enough, because you know, I haven't posted in 5 days and I don't even know how to make a post a good one anymore and let me tell you, this is not fun. But seriously, how do people manage to blog when they have a job or are raising kids? I was volunteering, had my classes and other uni stuff and blogging hardly fit in my agenda. Is that me not knowing how to organize my time, or is it actually pretty challenging? I actually have a lot of ideas and I'm sure I will fall back in love with blogging because now that I've realized I was pressuring myself a little bit too hard, I can stop doing that. I think that the way I feel about my blog shows and that doesn't make me happy at all. How do you deal with situations like these?
So now talking about the happier things, the Easter this year was a pretty good one. For the first time in years, there were so many of us at the Easter table and it was such an amazing feeling. Most of my family live abroad and we don't get to see each other a lot, so having my Godfather and his family with us was amazing. My little cousins are the most adorable kids and when they come up to me and hug me, I melt into one big pond. Of course, where is family, there is some drama involved, at least that's how it always is with our family. But despite everything, it actually was a very good holiday. Now it's been super strange trying to get back into the real world after the festival where I need to study and go to classes and it's been tough, not gonna lie. BUT it was sunny for two days straight and the sky was bright blue the whole time, so it's pretty awesome. Tell me, which day of the week was the best one and why?

» I've spent Easter in nature, in a very nice place with a forest around the house and it's been pretty amazing to hang out there.
» There were also deers! It was actually the first time I have ever seen one, so I spent a lot of time following around with a camera and staring at them.
» A coffee with a view.
» Stationery addicts unite! I bought these giant paperclips from Tiger and I love them! 

TURN OFF YOUR PHONE AND LOOK UP TO THE SKY

Yesterday (not) having my phone inspired quite a few thoughts in my very busy head. We live in the world where everyone and their grandma has a smartphone or at least a phone and while we are so connected all the time, it's so freakin' easy to get disconnected from the real world. I love having the world at the click (touch) of my phone but I absolutely do not love being a little dependent on it.
Yesterday I've had two very different encounters involving the phones. I went to have lunch with a friend and she is in the long - distance relationship involving quite a lot of drama, so she is basically living in her phone. So whenever we are somewhere, we talk a little and then we sit with a phone in our hand. We are not the closest friends, so I don't really mind and just accept the situation, but I see so many people doing this - couples sitting in a restaurant, families or even the groups of girls sitting and looking at their phones. And it is so sad! So then this same day my phone just died on me and there was no way of charging it, so I was in this strange situation of not having my phone. I didn't have the music to listen to, Instagram to browse through and I was left there with my thoughts. And you know what? I actually enjoyed it!

It's good for you

It's really important to disconnect sometimes from the digital world and yes, for most of us it's very difficult, but it's really necessary. I am very happy that I still don't freak out too much when I don't have my phone even though it's weird, I can still function. It's really good to turn your phone off for a couple of hours every day or every other day and just do all of the things you want without having it buzzing somewhere in your bed. 

You can focus on your writing, you can study a little bit more productively, read a book and you can relax more.

Nothing too important will happen

We are so used to having our phones at all times because you know, someone is reaaally going to call and it's going to be a very important call. Well yes, that could happen but I doubt you get these calls every day, so turning your phone off for a couple of hours won't harm anyone. You could probably warn some people who could call you about this so that they wouldn't freak out when they can't reach you. 

There will probably be some Facebook messages, Instagram notifications, and some e-mails when you will turn your phone back on, but most of them won't be that important, so they can wait until you come back. 

Inspiration can reach you more easily

As I was walking without any form of connection, my thoughts were buzzing inside my head and some of them were really interesting. At one point, I was searching through my bag for some piece of paper to write it down. And it was so cool! When you force yourself to focus on your mind, you can find out some pretty interesting things, so just let your thoughts speak to you. You could be inspired to have a talk with someone, to write a blog post or just change something you've wanted for a while. 

This way you can also connect with the world better. You can look up to the sky without a camera trying to capture it and just capturing it with your own eyes, you can watch people and it's always very interesting and you can finally hear the birds chirping when you don't have your music blasting in your ears. 

Do you turn off your phone a lot throughout the week?

50 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

This is one thing I love - random facts about everything, I swear my head is full of completely random facts, maybe that is why I like pop quizzes so much! So obviously posts with 50 (!) facts about someone are always my kind of thing, it makes me feel like I get to know the person behind the screen a little bit better and that is always nice!I've done a post like this a while ago but right now there are so many more of you here, so I'm going to take another chance to present 50 completely random facts about me. So grab yourself a cup of warm drink (it's going to be a long post) and let's begin!

1. I love Harry Potter (like you didn't guess from the picture) and I can't imagine a better place in the world than Hogwarts.

2. I have never been to a wedding. Apparently I come from the family where no one wants to get married. Two of my cousins already have children but no, no wedding, sadly for me.

3.. I took swimming classes for one day, painting also for one day. I wasn't really good with continuing classes, I only stuck up with dance for 7 years.

4. I began painting my nails when I was 15 and ever since there weren't more than two days when I didn't have nail polish on. I just think it doesn't fit me to be with bare nails.

5. I am terrified of big waters. I love sea and ocean if I'm standing on the shore or if I see it, I don‘t like being in the middle of the sea and seeing only water around me. It makes me incredibly anxious and going underwater sounds a little like a nightmare to me.

6. I love love driving in a car at night. I don‘t drive myself, but I like when someone else is driving and I get to sit and enjoy. Music playing loudly is an essential part, of course.

7. I always know all the lyrics to the songs. If I like the song or if it‘s popular, I know all the words. Most people know the verse, but no, I know it all, that‘s my special thing.

8. I have an irrational fear of hospitals and doctors. It‘s funny that one of my best friends is studying to become a doctor. I have never even been admitted to the hospital myself and this terrifies me to even think about it, I don‘t even do well with visiting someone in the hospital.

9. I love olives. No, that would be a little understatement, I ADORE olives. Black ones, green ones, stuffed ones, big ones, small ones. I can easily sit down and eat the whole can of them, I just have to stop myself from doing it. I am the world‘s pickiest eater and don‘t eat a lot of "normal“ foods, but oh God, olives. Did you get that I like them?

10. I am starting to think that in a previous life I was a cat. If it sounds crazy, bare with me, I can explain this. I love when someone is touching my head and my hair. I recently got a professional head massage and this has been one of the best things ever. I just get chills all over my body when someone is touching my hair or my head. Also, I like to lay down in a sfink‘s position. My mom couldn‘t even do that and I find this comfortable. I also talk to my cat a lot. I am not crazy, I swear.

11. I can make myself laugh very easily. It doesn‘t take too much to make me laugh in general, but I find myself laughing at myself way too often, I can sometimes start to cry from laughing so hard and my family just sits there and watches me while trying to understand what it is that I'm doing. I always have at least person laughing at my jokes (ahem, me), so that‘s alright.

12. I am a little bit of a stationery addict. I love notebooks, I have too many of them and I want to buy them more and more. I love pens, colorful pens, highlighters, post – it notes, little pieces of paper.

13. I love history. It was one of my favorite classes in high school and I still enjoy some random history facts every once in a while. It fascinates me, I am not kidding. 

14. If someone would ever play me in a movie, I would love that to be Emma Stone.

15. My all time favorite tv show is Friends. I would love to be a part of it. Oh, and also Pretty Little Liars would be an amazing one to be in.

16. The first show I‘ve been to be the one by Patricia Kaas. I guess being francophone was bound to happen in my life.

17. I find Ed Sheeran, Caleb Followill, and Ryan Gosling equally  attractive. Can you find men who look more different from each other?

18. I can have pretty good conversations with myself. I guess that‘s the only child syndrome.

19. The thing I love the most about my appearance is my ginger hair. People have called me blonde on various occasions, but I choose to believe I am naturally a ginger. Ginger4life

20. If I could use the only one beauty product for the rest of my life, that would definitely be a mascara.

21. If you even saw Taylor Swift having a blast at the concert, that is how I look at the concerts. 

22. I love pop quiz nights, they excite me so much.

23. I am a bit of a computer nerd. I learned how to use the computer, Microsoft office, Photoshop, CSS and a bit of HMTL all by myself and the trusted friend called Google.

24. I hate crowded spaces and feeling of being stuck. It doesn‘t even have to be a small space where I feel stuck, it can be a big crowd and no way of escaping it. Once I've had an MRI test done and it was one of the scariest experiences of my life.

25. I have incredibly fast metabolism. I am hungry all the time and I eat a lot and you would never tell me while looking at me.

26. I have worn glasses from the early age of 1. At this point of my life, I could probably switch to lenses, but I‘m just too scared to do that after wearing glasses for my entire life. I look completely different without them on, that‘s what scares me the most.

27. The happiest place for me to beat is definitely the beach.

28. Growing up I was kind of an annoying, especially when I was a teenager. I didn‘t find it difficult to argue with teachers about very stupid things. I don‘t even want to remember myself being this way, I am so glad I‘ve grown out of it.

29. I am a bit of grammar freak. It probably doesn‘t seem like it when I write in English, but in my native language I know the rules pretty well and it annoys me when people don‘t know the grammar  of their native language.

30. I have 6 cousins and all of them live in different countries than me.

31. I completely swoon over British accent. I could sit still and listen to a guy talking about everything and anything in a gorgeous British accent.

32. I am pretty weird and awkward a lot of times. When i feel good, i start dancing, singing and just talking in weird accents or voices just randomly. And then I start laughing hysterically. Yup, I‘m pretty fun to live with! If you watch New Girl, Jess is me in a nutshell.

33. I am always that person who gives advice to friends about the relationships, when I‘m mostly single.

34. I am always that person who pulls the door when it‘s written push on them. Every. Single. Time.

35. Once in highschool I fell down on a piece of orange. And yes, this is a real story, i completely fell down in front of people standing there in hallways. How did that piece of orange ended up there, i have no clue to this day.

36. The man is the most attractive to me when he has a beard. Not the long Santa Claus kind of one, but the one of three days, you know, ladies?

37. I LOVE cheese. That is a little bit of understatement and I don‘t know with what words I could express my ultimate love for cheese. Cheese of every kind.

38. I also really love pickles. You could think I‘m constantly pregnant (I‘m not) because I‘m craving pickles pretty much all the time. It‘s so weird, but I‘ 've been this way since I was a kid. If you want me to like you, bring me pickles and we can be friends, I swear!

39. I cry very VERY easily. When Ellen meets inspiring people, I cry, when I watch a movie, I cry, I cry at TV shows constantly.

40. Oh and if i already mentioned Ellen, I love her. She is the coolest person ever.

41. For a small person that I am, I can eat pretty crazy amounts of food. Sometimes i‘m even surprising myself with how much i can stuff in my belly.

42. I have a very hard time saying no to people. I don‘t do well with it, it‘s one of my weaknesses in life and even if I'm uncomfortable doing something, I find it very difficult to say no to someone if I know it‘s important to them and I'm scared of disappointing people.

43. People who are so full of themselves are probably my biggest pet peeve ever. People who achieved a lot and are not screaming all around about that are the nicest ones.

44. Airplanes fascinate me, I remember being a little kid and playing with the little modes of airplanes and being on one always seemed so exciting. It still is very exciting and they are incredibly beautiful to me.

45. I have a pretty bad case of hypochondria. It sucks a lot and I know how irrational my thoughts are, I just can‘t handle them easily.

46. Most of the time, I am pretty girly girl but I also know how to build a tent, I like beer, I‘ve been on a canoe many times and it never flipped over.

47. In a party you can always find me on the dance floor shaking everything I have and singing all the songs like my life depends of it.

48. One of my favorite writers are Jack Kerouac and Erich Maria Remarque.

49. One of the things I enjoy the most is Summer music festivals.

50.  I speak Lithuanian, English, French and a tiny bit of Spanish.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED WHEN I LEFT MY COMFORT ZONE

"Do one thing that scares you every day"

I'm pretty sure you've heard this famous quote about two million times in your life. I did too, but I never truly realized the meaning of it up until recently.

My trip to Italy last May changed quite a lot in my life not only in a way that I got to see some truly amazingly beautiful places, but more in the way that I grew up a bit in a way I didn't expected before going on this road trip. How, you may ask, and this would be a very good question. It took some time for me to figure this out as well, to be honest. In fact, I am not entirely sure that the trip itself was the one thing that inspired the change, but I like to think so after all, that‘s quite a beautiful mark to remember. 

The thing was that on this road trip I went with my family and two of family friends and so it happened to be that I was the only one who could speak proper English so I had plenty of responsibilities to make sure everything went smoothly with our trip. I got to find hotels while speaking on the phone, talk with policemen in the middle of the road, make our reservations, check in, check out, buy things and honestly I was mainly the one that did all the talking on that trip and it was very strange when 4 adults were confident enough in me to do this.

It probably doesn't really sound clear enough, so let me back you up a little bit. Before this trip I was the person who disliked speaking to people I don‘t know, meaning in the street, in the bank, hospital, post office and don't even get me started on talking on the phone. For some (or most) it probably sounds very very strange, because why on earth would you be scared of that, really? Why would you be afraid of speaking with someone you won‘t ever see ever again? Well, I don‘t really know the answer to this myself but I was very shy about doing this. You would never tell that I'm shy in any way with people I know at least a little bit, not even close but for some reason people I don't actually know didn't seem inviting at all to me.
 So when I was on that trip and I saw how well things went on and that people were actually able to understand me and it wasn't all that scary and moreover it was in a foreign language (!), I suddenly became much more confident to do this and I was very proud of myself for doing these things. So while I was there I decided that I don‘t want to ever let go of this and I want to keep doing this thing even when I get back home, even if that would be scary.Because they definitely were going to be scary to me. So I made myself a promise and up until know I am keeping it to myself.

We have this program in my Uni were older students get to help and guide freshmans into the university life, it‘s like they become their mentors. I wanted to do this for a long time but never though I could actually be able to do this. But even though I was terrified, I applied for it and thankfully, I got the position of being the mentor for freshmans. And this has honestly been one of the best decisions of my life. Everyone likes to be needed and I honestly really enjoy helping people whenever I can, so this was quite an amazing place for me to be at. I have been doing this from the middle of July up until now. But honestly not the part of helping them was [and still is] the best part, the thing is that I got to meet a lot of other mentors and many many freshmans which is very exciting, indeed, but for me was also very challenging at times. It‘s really hard to explain how much it means to me that I actually met all these people and some of them really became my friends and I needed to talk to them, so day after day my fear kept on getting smaller and smaller. I also had to talk to authorities, to professors, to many people I have never even met and you know what? I did perfectly fine.

 I can't say that I am not scared of talking to people anymore, there are some moments when I would rather run away than approach someone but it‘s so so much easier to me than before. Now I can speak on the phone, talk to baristas in coffee shops, come up to someone and ask whatever that is that I need. And man, it feels amazing. Absolutely amazing. It's so freeing to know that you don't need anyone else to do something for you, that you are perfectly capable to approach a person you don't know and ask what you need. Now I'm actually enjoying when people come up to me on the street and ask for the road because that's one more accomplishment to me in this learning process.

And you know, I believe that we grow up this way, by doing even the smallest things, by changing something about ourselves which is no longer serving us. I realized I didn't want to be that person anymore who is afraid of speaking up, of speaking with someone I don't know and I am very glad to say that I learned so much. And I also learned that if you come up to someone smiling and talk politely and nicely, people mostly are really nice to you as well. And if they aren't, well, that's probably the lesson they still haven't learned themselves and it is not your problem to deal with. But one thing you can do is to let yourself grow day after day and surprise yourself every by accomplishing even the smallest goals. 

MY LIFE THROUGH INSTAGRAM / BLOGMAS ❅ DAY 16

Hello! I'm having quite a stressful beginning of the week, because it's the last week in Uni before Christmas break, so it's full of essays, exams and presentations, so today is an easy post from me. This is my little Instagram diary from this past month and I enjoy Instagram so so much, you can follow me here if you'd like to!

1// Me and my gorgeous cat were having a little cuddle session and my Mom snapped a very cute picture!

2// A throwback from the Christmas of 2012 when it was truly a white winter wonderland and right now it's raining outside (we are really not used to rain here in the middle of December) and I'm dreaming of white Christmas

3// My new favorite mug + my Christmas nails. Tutorial coming up tomorrow!

4// Perfect chocolate candies for cozy Saturday.

1// I clearly enjoy taking pictures of Luna a lot. But she is the cutest, I can't stop myself!

2// A perfect chocolate for Christmas time.

3// In the beginning of the December this is what I woke up to one day. This is how Christmas is supposed to look and although at the moment the weather is completely different, I'm hoping that snow will soon start to fall.

4// Another throwback (I love a good throwback Thursday) to my birthday trip to Rome with the best cup of cappuccino in the world.